Just ten minutes continued

The next four people I am writing to are my dearest people in my life. My boys, My husband and my dad are my world. If today I would leave this world these 4 people would probably have the hardest time accepting that I am gone and if any one of them would leave this I would have a hard time accepting it.

SO here it goes...

Daddy- I often heard stories of how you paced the floor and starved yourself to wait for me to be born. Guess that is where our special bond began. Dad I have always admired you and hold you in the highest of regards. I know you will always be there to guide me. Not do for me but guide me. Thank you for letting me make my mistakes. I never regret what I do, but it pains me to know when I have hurt you. I am sure there were many times when that has happened.
I have many great memories stored in my heart of things we did together and are still doing together. One day my big dream for us to be partners in a business will come true. Dad the night before your heart surgery I walked into the chapel. In fact I was drawn there. I had my rosary in one hand and trying hard to say it. I just couldn't I knew God did not do anything to hurt in fact he brought us there to St. Thomas Hospital to help you stay alive because you were not finished here on Earth. I was not mad with God and decided just to talk to Him. I vowed to God that night that no matter what His will was for you I would never leave my Faith or be mad at Him. I also said I would do anything I had to do to be able to share more life with you. God listened to me and I have tried very hard to make sure I live up to my word to God. I try so hard to keep making memories with you. I am glad He let you remain on earth so that my boys got to be apart of your life. Daddy I love you and I never meant to hurt you in any ways.. I hope that whatever I have done to you can be forgiven.

Now my two boys

Kaleb- My first born.. I love you very much and I often get caught up in my work and forget to show you. Momma forgets that you are 5 and many things that I think you should be doing are above your age capacity. You are one of my joys in life. I am proud of you and things that you accomplish everyday. I love your smile, your hugs, your kisses, your laughter. I love how in one minute you can hate me and the next I am the light of your world. You may look like your daddy, but you have many of your momma' qualities.. use them well. Don't let anyone you can't .. Momma has done that and it just makes you very unhappy. Never be hard on yourself. It makes you a horrible person to be around. Something I am learning at the moment. Always share your passions with others sometimes they need a little boost themselves. I love you my angel and you will always be in my heart!

Logan- my ray of sunshine... No one will ever understand why I am so bonded to you. You were my rock during my deepest darkest hours.. and that was when I was pregnant with you. There was a reason God brought you into my life during those times. I would have ended my life many times Lo if I were not pregnant with you. Many times I saw no hope and you would kick me in the bladder and remind me hey Mom there is more to your life. So yeah I may show you alot more attention,but it never means I love you more than your brother. Your smile can make my worst days turn bright. Your hugs and cuddles warm my heart to no end. You are just like your Paw-Paw Timmy- talkative but gentle. You are also like your Daddy- stubborn but very kind and loving. I just hope you pick up some of momma's traits. I love you my darling Lo Lo!

Now my husband-
Brady- whew this one is hard because I just don't know where to begin. 8 years ago I had given up on love. Figured I would NEVEr be married or have kids. Figured I'd live the rest of my life in Chauvin teaching kids of people I went the school with and dying an old maid. But, God saw other plans. It was the longest journey of my life when I came to meet you! Not mention I had a drunk on my side. But, the minute I laid eyes on you and heard your voice in person I knew you were the one.
There was this glow around you which leads me to believe my guardian angel was there beside you. When I went through the hard time of losing my best friend my grandma you helped me through it because you knew how it felt and that's who you are. The first time you called me Babygirl I knew that we would be together forever. That was my sign from Heaven. The day you left the trail of rose petals leading to a CLEAN made bed my heart fluttered. I never turned on the light and probably would not have had I not realized there was a paper sitting there. I was in awe and then realized I had to tell you an answer.
There ar so many memories I will never forget that we have shared/ Lately I memories have not been the best, but these really, truly are the best.. we learn from these memories. Lately I have been having a hard time showing my love and appreciation for you. You continue to take the punches and I am truly sorry for treating you and our sons so horribly. There really are days that I would rather see you all away from me because you all deserve better, but you stick with me and you don't let me give up. Your best quality stick with the underdog.
Ithank you for sharing your life with me. I want to grow old with you. I want to be your rock when you need it. I love you with all my heart, body, and soul. Please forgive me for all my wrong doings and continue to love me unconditionally. Love your Babygirl


Wow that felt good! I think I needed this post. Now more than likely the people that I have written to will never read this,but hey I had to get it off my chest! Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving and hold your family dear to you because you never know when your 10 minutes may come up!

Kami if you read this thanks for inspiring it! Tim

In just 10 minutes

A friend of mine a few weeks ago experienced a very hard time and had ten minutes to decide what to tell her husband before he went into major surgery. She had a good point in a blog she wrote as to what do you say in ten minutes. This has got me thinking and I really would like to write what I would say in 10 minutes (yeah right 10 minutes would not be lone enough) to my family.

I'll start with my sisters-in-law.....
Desi- I have to admit I was not too happy when my baby brother started dating you. You would not have been my first choice for him, but who am I to choose for my brother. But, you are amazing. I really do love when we get to visit. You are a strong woman to put up with my baby brother. He is a handful. But, he loves you much so that makes me love you even more. Thank you for always being sweet and gentle to my boys.. and I mean all them including Brady. Thank you for asking me to be responsible in guiding my Godchild in right paths.

Katie- Girl you have your hands full with just my brother and his love for animals. We don't get to visit often, but you are the best for my brother. Keep loving him! It saddens me that we don't know each other better, but it is great that I can relate to your mommy problems.

Mandy - Yeap you are the one who brightens my big little brother's life. It bothers me to no end that he is so rude to you, but that might be his way of showing his love. Thank you for accepting my offer to be Kaleb's Godmother. I know if I leave this earth you will help to keep him safe and guide in the right path. You have a great bond with my husband, I like that. I think all in-laws should have that bond.

Rusty- How do I say what needs to be said. I first apologize and ask for forgiveness for my rant. You are a very kind person and we are lucky to have you in our lives. You are brother's best buddy and his worst nightmare all in one. I know if I leave this Earth you will hold your brother. Thank you for being the best brother in law you could be despite telling me I have a big head. It is very easy to talk to you and that is a great quality you have. Thank you for accepting the challenge of helping us guide Kaleb in his religion. We have many good memories and I hope you remember them all.

Mr. Bobby- We have so many good memories. I hope you have cherished them all as much as I have cherished them. You are a great father in law that a girl can lean on when her own Daddy isn't there. It helps to know that on the drop of a dime if I need you you are there. I hold you dear to my heart. Thank you for having Brady so that I could have him in my life. I love you!

Mrs. Juanita- A girl could only dream of having the dearest of mother in laws. I have had my share of ughhs about you (doesn't every daughter in law experince thes) , but I always learn to forget and remember the good side of you. You are the best and I have no complaints. Thank you for letting me lean on you even when you are having a hard time. I know if I leave this Earth today you will grieve, but you would be the strong spot for my husband and boys. Thanks for just being there whether silent or with words. I love you dearly and you know lots about the feelings I have.

My brothers-
Tim- Wow, I am at a lost for words because there is so much I would tell you. I thank you for the memories we have shared thus far. Man you were mean to me as a kid. But, nothing could ever keep me mad at you. It is great to have shared our childhood together. I am glad you live close by now even though we still don't see much of each other. I know if I need you, you will be right there. My boys adore their Uncle Timmy. Thanks for taking time to share life with them. Thanks for sharing your life with me. You are pig-headed, but that is what makes you.. You! I love you very much! (PS I know you hate all this talkign before death stuff, but DEAL with it) You are the best!

Justin- My pal. My brother who will get me out of any trouble and do just about anything that does not require signing over his life. I love you spontainous ways. Who in their right mind would have a yard full of animals? You that's who. You are the best. Your heart is always over flowing and that's what makes you the best. You have a wonderful family and I hope God continues to guide you in right ways. Thank you for being Logan's Godfather. I feel confident in my decision to make you that person. You will guide him if need be. Sometimes not in the right directions but you will guide him none the least. I love you!

Josh- My baby brother- Wow how many times did I carry you around on my hip when you were a baby. I think until you were 3 or 4 I was your best friend. You are a darling little brother. Even when you are being a little shit you are darling. I am glad God put you into my life even though I wanted to send you away when you first got here. Dang it why couldn't you have been my little sister. Thank you for your love, compassion and silliness. Life would have been boring without you in it. You are the best also! I love you just as much as the rest of them

My Momma- Mom I would have to start by telling you.. When I had my boys I was more than excited that you stayed with me and helped me out. I know you love me more than life itself. I do love you dearly and am most glad that you brought me into this world. I am so happy that my boys get to experience life with you even if it is not often. Just one more thing.... please keep showing my boys the love they deserve from you.

OK Now that my tears are pouring down my face.. I have to go get ready to take my boys to the Zoo! I'll finish my 10 minutes with my family later.

Comparing pictures

OK so let me explain these pictures. The first two are of Kaleb and Logan. Kaleb is on the left at 21 months and Logan is on the right at 21 months.
The second two pictures are of my mom and dad. The first one was taken at Sea World in 2005 and the second one was for Christmas last year. The last two are of Brady and I. The first one was taken for Easter this year and the second one was in 2005 at SeaWorld.

Let's play catch up

Wow it is almost a month that I have posted.
Not much important going on here in our house. We are having major issues with Kaleb at school. He has been coming home with many sad faces for petty things. How do you get a 5 year oldto understand he needs to eat and not play with his food. He needs to quit playing in the restroom. We have tried no TV. We have tried no toy room time, no computer time and spanking.
We have tried the positive approach. You give us 5 days of smiley faces in return you get something. NOTHING HAS WORKED! Well yes something has worked to help. I have to isolate him from me. As long as he can talk and be near me or Brady he is fine, but take away his communication with an adult and it drives him bananas. I guess it is called tough love, but I hate feeling like I am pushing him away.
We are home today because Kaleb had a visit to the emergency room last night. He has a bad case of Swimmer's ear, but we thought for sure it was an infection. At 9:30 last night he was screaming in his sleep and asked to be taken to the doctor. So because we stayed at the emergency room til past midnight..I decided we needed to stay home. Maybe a day with mom and dad will get him to listen too. I have to run some errands today so he can help me.
I am taking suggestions on how to handle this situation.. now mind you he does go to a private Catholic school.
Ok enough about Kaleb, let me talk about my littlest man, Logan, or as he calls himself Gogan. I love it. He is so intelligent. He is now speaking in sentences. He uses his manners quite well also. And he loves to play, but if momma gets out of his site for too long (other than daycare) the boy gets lonesome. He does the cutest things. Like he loves to watch football with Brady, he will sit and of course keep telling you footbal football, football. And when the team starts making a good run, he stands up and yells go go go! It is just too cute. He also does the Sign of the Cross with the words not just the motion. I love when he says Amen he clasps his little hands together. He is growing up so quickly and it is scary yet a relief. HE wants to wear underwear so I let him until he uses all what he has. He is very demanding and stubborn though. But can be gentle and sweet on the drop of a dime.
I seriously love my two boys. They are the world.
I recently got to have some free from mommy job time. My dearest, best friend invited me to attend the New Kids on the Block concert. Oh MY GOSH! I still think my favorites are handsome. I loved every minute of the concert, but the best part of the whole night was being able to cut up with my friend, Lainie. Oh how I miss her so much. Just reminiscing about all the boys we thought were cute back when we were 12 to about oh hell 17. Man, I wonder how many knew we drooled over them at night. I hadn't laughed in months and Lainie helped me that night. I laughed so much that my New Kids concert night rush lasted for another week. It was much needed me time and I am happy I got to experience it.
Now if I can convince my mom to watch my boys for Black Friday... I want to spend another day with her. Or may be even my big sis Nina.
Well I am dead tired and thinking about heading to the Brownie store as Kaleb calls it and getting me a fancy coffee.
I'll post Halloween pictures later. I think I have some.