Just ten minutes continued

The next four people I am writing to are my dearest people in my life. My boys, My husband and my dad are my world. If today I would leave this world these 4 people would probably have the hardest time accepting that I am gone and if any one of them would leave this I would have a hard time accepting it.

SO here it goes...

Daddy- I often heard stories of how you paced the floor and starved yourself to wait for me to be born. Guess that is where our special bond began. Dad I have always admired you and hold you in the highest of regards. I know you will always be there to guide me. Not do for me but guide me. Thank you for letting me make my mistakes. I never regret what I do, but it pains me to know when I have hurt you. I am sure there were many times when that has happened.
I have many great memories stored in my heart of things we did together and are still doing together. One day my big dream for us to be partners in a business will come true. Dad the night before your heart surgery I walked into the chapel. In fact I was drawn there. I had my rosary in one hand and trying hard to say it. I just couldn't I knew God did not do anything to hurt in fact he brought us there to St. Thomas Hospital to help you stay alive because you were not finished here on Earth. I was not mad with God and decided just to talk to Him. I vowed to God that night that no matter what His will was for you I would never leave my Faith or be mad at Him. I also said I would do anything I had to do to be able to share more life with you. God listened to me and I have tried very hard to make sure I live up to my word to God. I try so hard to keep making memories with you. I am glad He let you remain on earth so that my boys got to be apart of your life. Daddy I love you and I never meant to hurt you in any ways.. I hope that whatever I have done to you can be forgiven.

Now my two boys

Kaleb- My first born.. I love you very much and I often get caught up in my work and forget to show you. Momma forgets that you are 5 and many things that I think you should be doing are above your age capacity. You are one of my joys in life. I am proud of you and things that you accomplish everyday. I love your smile, your hugs, your kisses, your laughter. I love how in one minute you can hate me and the next I am the light of your world. You may look like your daddy, but you have many of your momma' qualities.. use them well. Don't let anyone you can't .. Momma has done that and it just makes you very unhappy. Never be hard on yourself. It makes you a horrible person to be around. Something I am learning at the moment. Always share your passions with others sometimes they need a little boost themselves. I love you my angel and you will always be in my heart!

Logan- my ray of sunshine... No one will ever understand why I am so bonded to you. You were my rock during my deepest darkest hours.. and that was when I was pregnant with you. There was a reason God brought you into my life during those times. I would have ended my life many times Lo if I were not pregnant with you. Many times I saw no hope and you would kick me in the bladder and remind me hey Mom there is more to your life. So yeah I may show you alot more attention,but it never means I love you more than your brother. Your smile can make my worst days turn bright. Your hugs and cuddles warm my heart to no end. You are just like your Paw-Paw Timmy- talkative but gentle. You are also like your Daddy- stubborn but very kind and loving. I just hope you pick up some of momma's traits. I love you my darling Lo Lo!

Now my husband-
Brady- whew this one is hard because I just don't know where to begin. 8 years ago I had given up on love. Figured I would NEVEr be married or have kids. Figured I'd live the rest of my life in Chauvin teaching kids of people I went the school with and dying an old maid. But, God saw other plans. It was the longest journey of my life when I came to meet you! Not mention I had a drunk on my side. But, the minute I laid eyes on you and heard your voice in person I knew you were the one.
There was this glow around you which leads me to believe my guardian angel was there beside you. When I went through the hard time of losing my best friend my grandma you helped me through it because you knew how it felt and that's who you are. The first time you called me Babygirl I knew that we would be together forever. That was my sign from Heaven. The day you left the trail of rose petals leading to a CLEAN made bed my heart fluttered. I never turned on the light and probably would not have had I not realized there was a paper sitting there. I was in awe and then realized I had to tell you an answer.
There ar so many memories I will never forget that we have shared/ Lately I memories have not been the best, but these really, truly are the best.. we learn from these memories. Lately I have been having a hard time showing my love and appreciation for you. You continue to take the punches and I am truly sorry for treating you and our sons so horribly. There really are days that I would rather see you all away from me because you all deserve better, but you stick with me and you don't let me give up. Your best quality stick with the underdog.
Ithank you for sharing your life with me. I want to grow old with you. I want to be your rock when you need it. I love you with all my heart, body, and soul. Please forgive me for all my wrong doings and continue to love me unconditionally. Love your Babygirl


Wow that felt good! I think I needed this post. Now more than likely the people that I have written to will never read this,but hey I had to get it off my chest! Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving and hold your family dear to you because you never know when your 10 minutes may come up!

Kami if you read this thanks for inspiring it! Tim