Wow, 2008 will end in about 2 and 1/2 hours. 2008 was one quick year.
Am I glad it's coming to an end? Yes, too many changes happened in my life in 2008 that has caused me to be a cold person. I lost my joy in life. I use to be happy and smiled alot. Now I feel cynical. I don't want to be around people much. I use to enjoy spending time at the mall or zoo now I hate being in crowds.
Did I learn anything from 2008? Yes, I learned many things. That you can't trust people who listen well. They tend to turn on you. But the people who you think aren't listening to you are the people who help you out.
Did I miss anyone? I miss alot of people. I really miss how close my family use to be. I am happy that my brother has moved closer.
What do I plan top make better in 2009? I want my children and husband to feel my love. I want to become closer to my God again. I want my negative thoughts to succumb to my positive thoughts. I want to continue to lose my weight and feel awesome about myself. I want to give myself more me time and not feel like I am taking anyone for granted when I ask for a break. I want to be the best damn teacher that I can be to my students and show them I really do care about them. I want my patience to stay thick.
I will have to work hard at some of these, but most of these I can do with just a little thought. I am so happy with what God has given me this past year. The joys and the scares were lessons for me. Lessons that kicked me in the butt alot. I believe I became wiser this year. I feel that my hear is getting back into its loving self again. Time will heal my hurt and God will lead me in right paths.
Here's to 2009.. Hope everyone's is a prosper and blessed one! Thank you Lord for one more year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
A new tradtion for us
Tonight Kaleb and I made a Graham cracker house. It is a small one with just white and black icing, but next year we will get a little better with it. Here are some pictures of his masterpiece tonight. Merry Christmas!
Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAW MAW RENE!
Let it Snow and other Christmas Cheer
The last time I posted was around Thanksgiving. Wow been a few weeks. So let me get to a blog. I may not finish this before Logan wakes up or Kaleb demolishes the bathroom, but here it goes.
We have limited the amount of sugar and red dye Kaleb gets in his diet as well as set challenges (that we draw on his hand) for him to reach. It is working somewhat. He has gotten more smiling faces than sad faces in the past two weeks. In fact for the whole week after Thanksgiving break he had SMILEY FACES! When he gets the sad face we talk about it and that is it. He knows he cannot get the prize if he does not get the smiley face. So I think we are crossing a bridge here. We are leaving him off of high volumes of sugar.. which means NOT MUCH CANDY here for Christmas.
Logan is still talking a mile a minute making sentences better each day. A few weeks ago my mother in law and I went shopping for CHristmas and he was with us. While I was waiting at Target for my Starbucks my mother in law was giving him some drink.. well some fell onto the floor and he says Excuse me Lady, get a towel and wipe it up. He is definitely a monkey see monkey do kid. It irritates his brother but he does it anyway.
Brady is doing well. Still traveling to New Orleans once or twice a week to cover Saints football. He loves his career. We were praying hard this past week. There was a round of layoffs at The Advertiser and we were worried he would be sent off. God willed us for Brady to still have a job and for that we give much THANKS! He has to work for Christmas so we will not be going to Chauvin for Christmas, but we will make it down either before or after. He tells me to go and be with my family, but I do not want my boys to be without their daddy on Christmas day.
I have a new joy in teaching. I have learned how to teach this kids finally. I have to look and talk like a crazy person, but it is working. I have been more positive then negative with teaching and I am staying away from the negatve vibes of other teachers. We are almost half way through the year, but it is getting there.
Now this week we had some action in our neck of the woods. Old Man Winter and Jack Frost decided to pay us a visit. We had some pretty think frost about a week ago and Kaleb asked me if it had snowed. I thought for a while and told him yes, because we know good and well that it usually our snow. If we get a thick frost that is snow in South Louisiana. Well On Thursday we woke our boy up at 3 AM to see sleet because again that was as close to snow as we were going to get right... WRONG at 4 AM we woke Kaleb yet again for him to touch snow.. real snow. Yes that's right at 4 AM on December 11... there was snow in Carencro. Not just flurries, but snow. That was sticking even though we heard it would melt. By six AM we had enough snow on the ground to sink in and build snowmen. Oh it was wonderful and I am so glad my boys got to see it. Now will they ever see it again in their life... maybe this the second time I see thick snow in my life. I will post pictures later because my son number 1 is saying I hate him because I am not letting him play the playstation and I hear number 2 calling for me to get him out of the bed.
We have limited the amount of sugar and red dye Kaleb gets in his diet as well as set challenges (that we draw on his hand) for him to reach. It is working somewhat. He has gotten more smiling faces than sad faces in the past two weeks. In fact for the whole week after Thanksgiving break he had SMILEY FACES! When he gets the sad face we talk about it and that is it. He knows he cannot get the prize if he does not get the smiley face. So I think we are crossing a bridge here. We are leaving him off of high volumes of sugar.. which means NOT MUCH CANDY here for Christmas.
Logan is still talking a mile a minute making sentences better each day. A few weeks ago my mother in law and I went shopping for CHristmas and he was with us. While I was waiting at Target for my Starbucks my mother in law was giving him some drink.. well some fell onto the floor and he says Excuse me Lady, get a towel and wipe it up. He is definitely a monkey see monkey do kid. It irritates his brother but he does it anyway.
Brady is doing well. Still traveling to New Orleans once or twice a week to cover Saints football. He loves his career. We were praying hard this past week. There was a round of layoffs at The Advertiser and we were worried he would be sent off. God willed us for Brady to still have a job and for that we give much THANKS! He has to work for Christmas so we will not be going to Chauvin for Christmas, but we will make it down either before or after. He tells me to go and be with my family, but I do not want my boys to be without their daddy on Christmas day.
I have a new joy in teaching. I have learned how to teach this kids finally. I have to look and talk like a crazy person, but it is working. I have been more positive then negative with teaching and I am staying away from the negatve vibes of other teachers. We are almost half way through the year, but it is getting there.
Now this week we had some action in our neck of the woods. Old Man Winter and Jack Frost decided to pay us a visit. We had some pretty think frost about a week ago and Kaleb asked me if it had snowed. I thought for a while and told him yes, because we know good and well that it usually our snow. If we get a thick frost that is snow in South Louisiana. Well On Thursday we woke our boy up at 3 AM to see sleet because again that was as close to snow as we were going to get right... WRONG at 4 AM we woke Kaleb yet again for him to touch snow.. real snow. Yes that's right at 4 AM on December 11... there was snow in Carencro. Not just flurries, but snow. That was sticking even though we heard it would melt. By six AM we had enough snow on the ground to sink in and build snowmen. Oh it was wonderful and I am so glad my boys got to see it. Now will they ever see it again in their life... maybe this the second time I see thick snow in my life. I will post pictures later because my son number 1 is saying I hate him because I am not letting him play the playstation and I hear number 2 calling for me to get him out of the bed.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Just ten minutes continued
The next four people I am writing to are my dearest people in my life. My boys, My husband and my dad are my world. If today I would leave this world these 4 people would probably have the hardest time accepting that I am gone and if any one of them would leave this I would have a hard time accepting it.
SO here it goes...
Daddy- I often heard stories of how you paced the floor and starved yourself to wait for me to be born. Guess that is where our special bond began. Dad I have always admired you and hold you in the highest of regards. I know you will always be there to guide me. Not do for me but guide me. Thank you for letting me make my mistakes. I never regret what I do, but it pains me to know when I have hurt you. I am sure there were many times when that has happened.
I have many great memories stored in my heart of things we did together and are still doing together. One day my big dream for us to be partners in a business will come true. Dad the night before your heart surgery I walked into the chapel. In fact I was drawn there. I had my rosary in one hand and trying hard to say it. I just couldn't I knew God did not do anything to hurt in fact he brought us there to St. Thomas Hospital to help you stay alive because you were not finished here on Earth. I was not mad with God and decided just to talk to Him. I vowed to God that night that no matter what His will was for you I would never leave my Faith or be mad at Him. I also said I would do anything I had to do to be able to share more life with you. God listened to me and I have tried very hard to make sure I live up to my word to God. I try so hard to keep making memories with you. I am glad He let you remain on earth so that my boys got to be apart of your life. Daddy I love you and I never meant to hurt you in any ways.. I hope that whatever I have done to you can be forgiven.
Now my two boys
Kaleb- My first born.. I love you very much and I often get caught up in my work and forget to show you. Momma forgets that you are 5 and many things that I think you should be doing are above your age capacity. You are one of my joys in life. I am proud of you and things that you accomplish everyday. I love your smile, your hugs, your kisses, your laughter. I love how in one minute you can hate me and the next I am the light of your world. You may look like your daddy, but you have many of your momma' qualities.. use them well. Don't let anyone you can't .. Momma has done that and it just makes you very unhappy. Never be hard on yourself. It makes you a horrible person to be around. Something I am learning at the moment. Always share your passions with others sometimes they need a little boost themselves. I love you my angel and you will always be in my heart!
Logan- my ray of sunshine... No one will ever understand why I am so bonded to you. You were my rock during my deepest darkest hours.. and that was when I was pregnant with you. There was a reason God brought you into my life during those times. I would have ended my life many times Lo if I were not pregnant with you. Many times I saw no hope and you would kick me in the bladder and remind me hey Mom there is more to your life. So yeah I may show you alot more attention,but it never means I love you more than your brother. Your smile can make my worst days turn bright. Your hugs and cuddles warm my heart to no end. You are just like your Paw-Paw Timmy- talkative but gentle. You are also like your Daddy- stubborn but very kind and loving. I just hope you pick up some of momma's traits. I love you my darling Lo Lo!
Now my husband-
Brady- whew this one is hard because I just don't know where to begin. 8 years ago I had given up on love. Figured I would NEVEr be married or have kids. Figured I'd live the rest of my life in Chauvin teaching kids of people I went the school with and dying an old maid. But, God saw other plans. It was the longest journey of my life when I came to meet you! Not mention I had a drunk on my side. But, the minute I laid eyes on you and heard your voice in person I knew you were the one.
There was this glow around you which leads me to believe my guardian angel was there beside you. When I went through the hard time of losing my best friend my grandma you helped me through it because you knew how it felt and that's who you are. The first time you called me Babygirl I knew that we would be together forever. That was my sign from Heaven. The day you left the trail of rose petals leading to a CLEAN made bed my heart fluttered. I never turned on the light and probably would not have had I not realized there was a paper sitting there. I was in awe and then realized I had to tell you an answer.
There ar so many memories I will never forget that we have shared/ Lately I memories have not been the best, but these really, truly are the best.. we learn from these memories. Lately I have been having a hard time showing my love and appreciation for you. You continue to take the punches and I am truly sorry for treating you and our sons so horribly. There really are days that I would rather see you all away from me because you all deserve better, but you stick with me and you don't let me give up. Your best quality stick with the underdog.
Ithank you for sharing your life with me. I want to grow old with you. I want to be your rock when you need it. I love you with all my heart, body, and soul. Please forgive me for all my wrong doings and continue to love me unconditionally. Love your Babygirl
Wow that felt good! I think I needed this post. Now more than likely the people that I have written to will never read this,but hey I had to get it off my chest! Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving and hold your family dear to you because you never know when your 10 minutes may come up!
Kami if you read this thanks for inspiring it! Tim
SO here it goes...
Daddy- I often heard stories of how you paced the floor and starved yourself to wait for me to be born. Guess that is where our special bond began. Dad I have always admired you and hold you in the highest of regards. I know you will always be there to guide me. Not do for me but guide me. Thank you for letting me make my mistakes. I never regret what I do, but it pains me to know when I have hurt you. I am sure there were many times when that has happened.
I have many great memories stored in my heart of things we did together and are still doing together. One day my big dream for us to be partners in a business will come true. Dad the night before your heart surgery I walked into the chapel. In fact I was drawn there. I had my rosary in one hand and trying hard to say it. I just couldn't I knew God did not do anything to hurt in fact he brought us there to St. Thomas Hospital to help you stay alive because you were not finished here on Earth. I was not mad with God and decided just to talk to Him. I vowed to God that night that no matter what His will was for you I would never leave my Faith or be mad at Him. I also said I would do anything I had to do to be able to share more life with you. God listened to me and I have tried very hard to make sure I live up to my word to God. I try so hard to keep making memories with you. I am glad He let you remain on earth so that my boys got to be apart of your life. Daddy I love you and I never meant to hurt you in any ways.. I hope that whatever I have done to you can be forgiven.
Now my two boys
Kaleb- My first born.. I love you very much and I often get caught up in my work and forget to show you. Momma forgets that you are 5 and many things that I think you should be doing are above your age capacity. You are one of my joys in life. I am proud of you and things that you accomplish everyday. I love your smile, your hugs, your kisses, your laughter. I love how in one minute you can hate me and the next I am the light of your world. You may look like your daddy, but you have many of your momma' qualities.. use them well. Don't let anyone you can't .. Momma has done that and it just makes you very unhappy. Never be hard on yourself. It makes you a horrible person to be around. Something I am learning at the moment. Always share your passions with others sometimes they need a little boost themselves. I love you my angel and you will always be in my heart!
Logan- my ray of sunshine... No one will ever understand why I am so bonded to you. You were my rock during my deepest darkest hours.. and that was when I was pregnant with you. There was a reason God brought you into my life during those times. I would have ended my life many times Lo if I were not pregnant with you. Many times I saw no hope and you would kick me in the bladder and remind me hey Mom there is more to your life. So yeah I may show you alot more attention,but it never means I love you more than your brother. Your smile can make my worst days turn bright. Your hugs and cuddles warm my heart to no end. You are just like your Paw-Paw Timmy- talkative but gentle. You are also like your Daddy- stubborn but very kind and loving. I just hope you pick up some of momma's traits. I love you my darling Lo Lo!
Now my husband-
Brady- whew this one is hard because I just don't know where to begin. 8 years ago I had given up on love. Figured I would NEVEr be married or have kids. Figured I'd live the rest of my life in Chauvin teaching kids of people I went the school with and dying an old maid. But, God saw other plans. It was the longest journey of my life when I came to meet you! Not mention I had a drunk on my side. But, the minute I laid eyes on you and heard your voice in person I knew you were the one.
There was this glow around you which leads me to believe my guardian angel was there beside you. When I went through the hard time of losing my best friend my grandma you helped me through it because you knew how it felt and that's who you are. The first time you called me Babygirl I knew that we would be together forever. That was my sign from Heaven. The day you left the trail of rose petals leading to a CLEAN made bed my heart fluttered. I never turned on the light and probably would not have had I not realized there was a paper sitting there. I was in awe and then realized I had to tell you an answer.
There ar so many memories I will never forget that we have shared/ Lately I memories have not been the best, but these really, truly are the best.. we learn from these memories. Lately I have been having a hard time showing my love and appreciation for you. You continue to take the punches and I am truly sorry for treating you and our sons so horribly. There really are days that I would rather see you all away from me because you all deserve better, but you stick with me and you don't let me give up. Your best quality stick with the underdog.
Ithank you for sharing your life with me. I want to grow old with you. I want to be your rock when you need it. I love you with all my heart, body, and soul. Please forgive me for all my wrong doings and continue to love me unconditionally. Love your Babygirl
Wow that felt good! I think I needed this post. Now more than likely the people that I have written to will never read this,but hey I had to get it off my chest! Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving and hold your family dear to you because you never know when your 10 minutes may come up!
Kami if you read this thanks for inspiring it! Tim
In just 10 minutes
A friend of mine a few weeks ago experienced a very hard time and had ten minutes to decide what to tell her husband before he went into major surgery. She had a good point in a blog she wrote as to what do you say in ten minutes. This has got me thinking and I really would like to write what I would say in 10 minutes (yeah right 10 minutes would not be lone enough) to my family.
I'll start with my sisters-in-law.....
Desi- I have to admit I was not too happy when my baby brother started dating you. You would not have been my first choice for him, but who am I to choose for my brother. But, you are amazing. I really do love when we get to visit. You are a strong woman to put up with my baby brother. He is a handful. But, he loves you much so that makes me love you even more. Thank you for always being sweet and gentle to my boys.. and I mean all them including Brady. Thank you for asking me to be responsible in guiding my Godchild in right paths.
Katie- Girl you have your hands full with just my brother and his love for animals. We don't get to visit often, but you are the best for my brother. Keep loving him! It saddens me that we don't know each other better, but it is great that I can relate to your mommy problems.
Mandy - Yeap you are the one who brightens my big little brother's life. It bothers me to no end that he is so rude to you, but that might be his way of showing his love. Thank you for accepting my offer to be Kaleb's Godmother. I know if I leave this earth you will help to keep him safe and guide in the right path. You have a great bond with my husband, I like that. I think all in-laws should have that bond.
Rusty- How do I say what needs to be said. I first apologize and ask for forgiveness for my rant. You are a very kind person and we are lucky to have you in our lives. You are brother's best buddy and his worst nightmare all in one. I know if I leave this Earth you will hold your brother. Thank you for being the best brother in law you could be despite telling me I have a big head. It is very easy to talk to you and that is a great quality you have. Thank you for accepting the challenge of helping us guide Kaleb in his religion. We have many good memories and I hope you remember them all.
Mr. Bobby- We have so many good memories. I hope you have cherished them all as much as I have cherished them. You are a great father in law that a girl can lean on when her own Daddy isn't there. It helps to know that on the drop of a dime if I need you you are there. I hold you dear to my heart. Thank you for having Brady so that I could have him in my life. I love you!
Mrs. Juanita- A girl could only dream of having the dearest of mother in laws. I have had my share of ughhs about you (doesn't every daughter in law experince thes) , but I always learn to forget and remember the good side of you. You are the best and I have no complaints. Thank you for letting me lean on you even when you are having a hard time. I know if I leave this Earth today you will grieve, but you would be the strong spot for my husband and boys. Thanks for just being there whether silent or with words. I love you dearly and you know lots about the feelings I have.
My brothers-
Tim- Wow, I am at a lost for words because there is so much I would tell you. I thank you for the memories we have shared thus far. Man you were mean to me as a kid. But, nothing could ever keep me mad at you. It is great to have shared our childhood together. I am glad you live close by now even though we still don't see much of each other. I know if I need you, you will be right there. My boys adore their Uncle Timmy. Thanks for taking time to share life with them. Thanks for sharing your life with me. You are pig-headed, but that is what makes you.. You! I love you very much! (PS I know you hate all this talkign before death stuff, but DEAL with it) You are the best!
Justin- My pal. My brother who will get me out of any trouble and do just about anything that does not require signing over his life. I love you spontainous ways. Who in their right mind would have a yard full of animals? You that's who. You are the best. Your heart is always over flowing and that's what makes you the best. You have a wonderful family and I hope God continues to guide you in right ways. Thank you for being Logan's Godfather. I feel confident in my decision to make you that person. You will guide him if need be. Sometimes not in the right directions but you will guide him none the least. I love you!
Josh- My baby brother- Wow how many times did I carry you around on my hip when you were a baby. I think until you were 3 or 4 I was your best friend. You are a darling little brother. Even when you are being a little shit you are darling. I am glad God put you into my life even though I wanted to send you away when you first got here. Dang it why couldn't you have been my little sister. Thank you for your love, compassion and silliness. Life would have been boring without you in it. You are the best also! I love you just as much as the rest of them
My Momma- Mom I would have to start by telling you.. When I had my boys I was more than excited that you stayed with me and helped me out. I know you love me more than life itself. I do love you dearly and am most glad that you brought me into this world. I am so happy that my boys get to experience life with you even if it is not often. Just one more thing.... please keep showing my boys the love they deserve from you.
OK Now that my tears are pouring down my face.. I have to go get ready to take my boys to the Zoo! I'll finish my 10 minutes with my family later.
I'll start with my sisters-in-law.....
Desi- I have to admit I was not too happy when my baby brother started dating you. You would not have been my first choice for him, but who am I to choose for my brother. But, you are amazing. I really do love when we get to visit. You are a strong woman to put up with my baby brother. He is a handful. But, he loves you much so that makes me love you even more. Thank you for always being sweet and gentle to my boys.. and I mean all them including Brady. Thank you for asking me to be responsible in guiding my Godchild in right paths.
Katie- Girl you have your hands full with just my brother and his love for animals. We don't get to visit often, but you are the best for my brother. Keep loving him! It saddens me that we don't know each other better, but it is great that I can relate to your mommy problems.
Mandy - Yeap you are the one who brightens my big little brother's life. It bothers me to no end that he is so rude to you, but that might be his way of showing his love. Thank you for accepting my offer to be Kaleb's Godmother. I know if I leave this earth you will help to keep him safe and guide in the right path. You have a great bond with my husband, I like that. I think all in-laws should have that bond.
Rusty- How do I say what needs to be said. I first apologize and ask for forgiveness for my rant. You are a very kind person and we are lucky to have you in our lives. You are brother's best buddy and his worst nightmare all in one. I know if I leave this Earth you will hold your brother. Thank you for being the best brother in law you could be despite telling me I have a big head. It is very easy to talk to you and that is a great quality you have. Thank you for accepting the challenge of helping us guide Kaleb in his religion. We have many good memories and I hope you remember them all.
Mr. Bobby- We have so many good memories. I hope you have cherished them all as much as I have cherished them. You are a great father in law that a girl can lean on when her own Daddy isn't there. It helps to know that on the drop of a dime if I need you you are there. I hold you dear to my heart. Thank you for having Brady so that I could have him in my life. I love you!
Mrs. Juanita- A girl could only dream of having the dearest of mother in laws. I have had my share of ughhs about you (doesn't every daughter in law experince thes) , but I always learn to forget and remember the good side of you. You are the best and I have no complaints. Thank you for letting me lean on you even when you are having a hard time. I know if I leave this Earth today you will grieve, but you would be the strong spot for my husband and boys. Thanks for just being there whether silent or with words. I love you dearly and you know lots about the feelings I have.
My brothers-
Tim- Wow, I am at a lost for words because there is so much I would tell you. I thank you for the memories we have shared thus far. Man you were mean to me as a kid. But, nothing could ever keep me mad at you. It is great to have shared our childhood together. I am glad you live close by now even though we still don't see much of each other. I know if I need you, you will be right there. My boys adore their Uncle Timmy. Thanks for taking time to share life with them. Thanks for sharing your life with me. You are pig-headed, but that is what makes you.. You! I love you very much! (PS I know you hate all this talkign before death stuff, but DEAL with it) You are the best!
Justin- My pal. My brother who will get me out of any trouble and do just about anything that does not require signing over his life. I love you spontainous ways. Who in their right mind would have a yard full of animals? You that's who. You are the best. Your heart is always over flowing and that's what makes you the best. You have a wonderful family and I hope God continues to guide you in right ways. Thank you for being Logan's Godfather. I feel confident in my decision to make you that person. You will guide him if need be. Sometimes not in the right directions but you will guide him none the least. I love you!
Josh- My baby brother- Wow how many times did I carry you around on my hip when you were a baby. I think until you were 3 or 4 I was your best friend. You are a darling little brother. Even when you are being a little shit you are darling. I am glad God put you into my life even though I wanted to send you away when you first got here. Dang it why couldn't you have been my little sister. Thank you for your love, compassion and silliness. Life would have been boring without you in it. You are the best also! I love you just as much as the rest of them
My Momma- Mom I would have to start by telling you.. When I had my boys I was more than excited that you stayed with me and helped me out. I know you love me more than life itself. I do love you dearly and am most glad that you brought me into this world. I am so happy that my boys get to experience life with you even if it is not often. Just one more thing.... please keep showing my boys the love they deserve from you.
OK Now that my tears are pouring down my face.. I have to go get ready to take my boys to the Zoo! I'll finish my 10 minutes with my family later.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Comparing pictures
OK so let me explain these pictures. The first two are of Kaleb and Logan. Kaleb is on the left at 21 months and Logan is on the right at 21 months.
The second two pictures are of my mom and dad. The first one was taken at Sea World in 2005 and the second one was for Christmas last year. The last two are of Brady and I. The first one was taken for Easter this year and the second one was in 2005 at SeaWorld.
The second two pictures are of my mom and dad. The first one was taken at Sea World in 2005 and the second one was for Christmas last year. The last two are of Brady and I. The first one was taken for Easter this year and the second one was in 2005 at SeaWorld.
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